PwC assessment & interview

Lemme get into the point straight. 

I went for an assessment in PriceWaterhouseCoopers as part of the requirement of my course structure. We were tested on numerical reasoning and English. And...wow...I'm juz gonna be frank here...(afterall integrity is one of the ethical values being upheld)...I wished I did better. 

Numerical reasoning requires quick processing on data and accuracy on calculations. And, things get tougher when "no answer" becomes one of the answers. 

I had not much of a problem in English, I guess. 1 grammar-correction part and 3 essays in about 1.5 hours. Essay questions were something like "why do you wanna become an accountant?", a clarification letter and a decision making question. 

On the 25th, I attended the interview. Woke up at 2 in the morning juz to prepare (I had a NLP course in the afternoon and I was kinda sick when I came home due to the haze) for the interview...ya' know...the typical stuffs: strengths, weakness and "tell me something about yourself". Then I went back to sleep at 5 and had a tough time waking up at 0630. Mum dropped me at the KTM station and I arrived at KL Central and decided to have coffee. Mc Donald's was pretty crowded (as it always been) so I switched to Burger King. And I'm glad it was a wise choice indeed. lol. But, waiting for my coffee was taking like eternity (seriously), which I think explains why not many eat there...because they're sloooooooow... Still, they serve nice food. 

For one hour I spend in BK talking to myself. I know...those weird stares thinking "ohh...this poor crazy child in a smart suit is seriously crazy."

I saw my classmate who was in the same interview slot as I am...and yea...she ignored me. It's as if I'm really invisible or something. But, to not ruin her day, I just kept silent as we walked into the office. 

"Because you're applying the job which is of long-term prospect, you'll be interviewed according to the standard of an associate applicant"
"ok~"

The head of recruit of PwC entered the room which I was seated and we talked. Questions asked were based on the contents of the resume. It'd be like "What did you do in the ____?" and "What do you think about ____?" and "What did you learn from ____?" and "You mentioned about _____, what do you mean?" and "What are the challenges faced?" and "How did you overcome the problem?" etc. 

As a result, I was talking about rice production, geographical stuffs, people relationships, the haze, youth and all sorts of weird stuffs. The questions were asked in a very sharp manner and sometimes I had trouble answering them. But, I wasn't as nervous as I expected to be, cuz I tend to be much more nervous in front of HER...so...no biggy here. 

I answered the questions emphasizing on 'challenges', 'growth' and 'confidence in business'. 

And, I finished my interview in 30 minutes time, rather than the supposed-to-be-45-minute interview. I wonder if it's a bad thing. 

Well, what done is done. And, I had Starbucks. And, I hope I could get the job.
P/S: I'm sorry. Many things (actually just one) is eating off my soul and my thinking capacity. I've been acting in stupid ways and awkward ways. But, that's juz a part of me that I've to deal with...alone. It's like I'm living my life based on someone else and I know it's unhealthy, but I can't help it. I'll talk about it soon...when things get better (I hope). 

I shall update on the NLP course soon. 

A day of randomness...

Apparently the car can't handle me. So, we sent the car to the workshop...and the bill amounted close to four zeros. Ouch...

And today is most probably the day I read a celebrity magazine (what do you call these magazines?) and a women's magazine. and, the newspaper as well.

And I cleaned the house...

What's the thing you want most?

So, I finished 6 papers of the CFAB course. And, here comes internship. I've got an assessment tomorrow and have no idea how am I supposed to go through. And, I have a feeling that it's not gonna be easy. 

But, enough of that. 

Somehow, other things don't matter anymore. I have no idea what love, infatuation and all those bloody stuffs are, but they are pretty much a strong emotion. Strong enough to have me suffocated, and do crazy things. And, I have no idea what I'm doing. It's just kinda hard to explain. 

And, I'm confused. 

Perhaps I just let opportunities passed by me last time (few times). And, they all say that "good things come to those who wait". Nay...it just makes me desperate. It's been really weird for me not to write posts about feelings, but rather on thoughts on life. But, what's life without these feelings. But, they're interdependent and it's a mutual relationship. 

First, you thought you have better things to do in live. All the way in life, I kept convincing myself that "I need to focus on my studies". First, there's PMR, then SPM, then CFAB exams. I had the perception that to have a so-called relationship requires lots of time and resources and everything. Then, I realised that I have just wasted equal amounts of time thinking about these people, which apparently, leads to nowhere. So, might as well, take a leap of faith. 

Then, I read something about Jesus on 'selfless love'. Love, if done in the right way, is not just about sacrifices. It is in fact, the relationship on how we cherish and support each other. It is the way on how to get the best of you and your partner. To get the best of both worlds. Business books said that 'synergy' is merely a term that optimistic people use to achieve goals. That's because business is not love. And, all the way through our lives, we have misinterpreted on how we should live our lives. And, that's how Jesus died (just saying). It is not a tool to show off, nor it is a tool to trigger jealousy. 

Then, I started noticing people. I started to judge. And, I have a horrible sense of judgement. Perhaps I didn't realise. Perhaps I freaked out. But, there's just something in that person that captivates me. I used to fall for people's personality, people's way of speaking, people's appearances, people's eyes. You'd start noticing and finding similarities and differences. Yea...and I'm telling you, I don't turn my head around twice to look at someone. You started to doubt that it's some kind of puppy love, until that person is everything you can relate to. That feeling gets stronger and you can't focus on your studies. Seriously, that was hell. For 4 weeks, I had no idea what the lecturer was talking about. My mind drifts away the moment I'm in class. I had no enthusiasm in attempting the questions (even when the lecturer offered money). I was lagging behind....the tip of the tail. And, after class, I would excuse myself and say "I'm gonna contemplate life." And, every time the lecturer asked on why didn't I finish my tutorials and questions, I would just smile as if I'm a fool or me thinking that he's a fool. 

That feeling of that person gaining control over your sanity, rationality, appetite, thoughts and even dreams. And, it lasts for weeks. You know it's too late to turn back and pretend as if everything is normal. 

Worse? Seeing that person with another guy. Ouch. Yes. It's called jealousy. But, there's nothing much you can do. I have no idea how should I react to it. And, it is really awkward and weird and painful. Perhaps, I'm just too sensitive. 

Mockz and finals are approaching. You realised that you need to cope with these feelings. I can't concentrate at the first place, I was staring blankly at the book for 1 hour the first time I tried to study. 

But, then, it all falls into place. 

I'm not sure if I've just turned into a girl or what on somehow expressing my feelings like this. 

And, I'm sorry. 

How can we sail to an island that nobody can find, with a compass that doesn't work?"

"Aye, the compass doesn't point north, but we're not trying to find north, are we?"

#Lost

These few weeks have been pretty weird lately.
I lost weight...4 kg for not having the appetite to eat and had coffee for dinner.

I think I'm weird, too. Thinking of people. In fact...over-thinking about somebody.
Ouch...I can't really focus on my studies.
I used to recall that I could pass my exams without putting much time and effort into my studies. Apparently now I have to put in quantity as well, rather than quality alone.
My studies is pretty much a mess now. Mockz was yesterday. Finals next Sat.

I think I have a weird sense of imagination.
The eye contact was pretty convincing.
But, am I getting the wrong idea?
I'm lost.

http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/lilo%20stitch?before=40

and...
let's give it a try.