Regrets vs Dissatisfaction

Assurance...
My results....
it gets worse.
what the heck!
this shouldn't be happening.
This semester was supposed to be an easy one. I read the textbook, did the question bank 3 times, made my own notes twice, memorised all important stuffs. Nothing could possibly have gone wrong.
ok...things may have got pretty screwed up. but, at least, nothing SHOULD have gone wrong.

Ok. let me make myself clear a little. I was well prepared. but the questions were basically tougher. and that's pretty normal. Everybody has a different set of questions which are randomly picked by the system out from a bank, which is unfair.

lucky me (I'm being sarcastic)...I got the tough ones. and the allocation of questions based on chapters were totally uneven. I had some challenging times analysing Ethics questions which turned up to be like half of the questions. There are 16 chapters and only 2 of the chapters plays a great role. this is stupid. Furthermore, one question branches out into babies which makes the whole thing worse.

Lucky enough. I passed. But if there is a chance for me to resit this exam, and with some luck, I would go for it. I know what I'm capable of and what I need help with. But not this one.

I'm pretty convinced that I've done my part.

If everybody were to get the same questions.....everything would be different....

Still....no regrets.

This is Stupid

There's just too many barriers to break in such short time to fully understand what it is all about.
Read once...twice...thrice...copied the text...attempted questions...all wrong...refer answer...no idea what the answer is talking about.
Everything seems illogical...they don't fit along.
I feel stupid...
I never thought accounting could be that hard.

I started cursing people, books, stationery, and God. And, I'm sorry.
You have no idea what I'm going through.
Great! Another reason to kill myself....(dun take it seriously...yet)

http://www.fanpop.com/spots/calvin-and-hobbes/images/318681/title/calvin-angry-photo

Staying Alive

Watssup world. So, I'll be talking about how my week in college went.

English Presentation.

It's college and you were expected to act like one that is "smart". In fact, everybody has a different interpretation regarding the word. I could be sarcastic, or I would really mean it which could still be distinguished through the degree of "smartness". This is the 2nd time I'm talking to public this year, which I find not really a tough one...individually. See, synergy is an crucial element that sprouts from an effective team. Our group's presentation was straight-forward and simple, rather than "let's play a guessing game and the winner gets free chocolate!!!!",  I would say which what the lecturer disagree. In all respect, different groups have their own distinctive way in doing their presentation. 

When it was my turn, I thought of something 'special' which I presented via the Powerpoint and also, the whiteboard. You see, when presenting a point, (I think) people should be able to give elaborations and descriptions and go in depth, and not just narrating the statistics projected on the screen. I was presenting on the "environment survey findings" slide when I wrote "Enviroment = People + Ambience + Facilities" on the board. I know I stuttered my speech, but at least (I hope and I believe) the audience understand my point. 

Presenting the findings with Edmund and Boon Yoke. 

Photo courtesy of Chang Pui Ling 

The lecturer didn't comment on our presentation in front of the class, and asked us to see her afterwards. I find it obscure. If there is something that you would like to comment, what's the problem voicing up and let the whole class learn something they may find helpful? The comment on me was that my presentation was out of topic and why did I wrote on the board. Well, if you could just twist a little perception of yours...

1) Presenting could be in any form. It was NOT stated that I MUST use the projector during my presentation ONLY. Hence, I am eligible to use whatever relevant resources that may find helpful in my presentation. In this case, I have the right to utilise the whiteboard. 

Coming out with something new....or not.

Photo courtesy of Chang Pui Ling

2) Something wrong with my equation? "Environment = People + Ambience + Facilities" did not just explain that there are 3 factors contributing in the changes of the environment (how they manipulate the environment), therefore identifying the effects which at last, leading to recommendations and solutions. So, through this simple equation that I just made up (basically not from books), I think I managed to link other aspects. I don't see anything that is irrelevant till the extend of being labelled "out of topic" as everything is still in compliance with the theme : Satisfactory Level on the Student Centre.

3) You rated the "funniest" as the best presentation. I don't doubt, because I had a great time, too. But, as far I'm concerned, we were required to dress up formally, which I see it as a ain't-no-play-time presentation. Fairly, we were straightforward and serious. No offense. 

I have no intention on giving negative impact to whosoever related, nor I mean to back stab any parties or individuals. This is merely a piece of my mind that I would not like to waste time arguing because of some petty assessment. 

I found this interesting.

Progress Test 1 

I've been in this CFAB thingy for like just 3 weeks and there is already a test to scare away little children like me. Accounting, is something that I don't really comprehend (in such short time). I never had the fundamentals or basics of accounting, as I was a Science student, though I have to admit that the starting part is quite rough. But, slowly, as time goes on, things get stable and I will eventually understand. The problem is I have no time. 2 subjects (accounts and business finance) are enough to kill me. So, I asked mum for help and mum got pretty anxious when she heard me saying "I dun wanna attend accounting lecture tomorrow because I dun understand what the teacher is talking about." Mum taught me accounting, by all means, including waking up at 5 to study. I think I get a small grasp of the whole accounting picture...say 0.1%? I know there are still lots of improvements to be made in me. 

I woke up at 4 this morning to study Business Finance as I spent yesterday night revising accounts (again). And I got really nervous in the car, college, computer lab (oh...did I mention that our exams are computer-based?). Gosh...they are real butterflies...or it was like I heart is in my stomach. And, I passed the exam. 

Accounting was still ok, (some are tough) to me. But my marks (77.5%) were higher than business (72%). 

Praise Lord...I passed. 

Mum is relieved, I'm happy. But that doesn't mean I don't have to study. In fact, it's the opposite that I should be doing.

What no one tells you is that they're the most important for now. UPSR. PMR. SPM. IB. They're all the most important until the next one comes along.                                                                         ~jasryn.blogpsot.com

In 3 weeks time, I'll be sitting for Progress Test 2. Gosh, my college life could be made into an Oscar-winning horror film.

CFAB / ICAEW 

Weird Accounting of Life

 

REWARD = SIN + KARMA 

I know...that I've done some wrongs yesterday. So, today I have received the recoil effect after what I've done (I ain't telling you), some would refer it as Karma, or in my words : hurting myself for hurting God. I thought today would be nothing, but a normal school day. As the alarm went off, I lazed on the bed about 10 minutes, but not enough to get me late for college. Everything went on pretty well, until dad decided to use the Bukit Jalil Highway, instead of the KESAS Highway, which got us trapped in the traffic jam for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Obviously, I'm late for class. Maybe it's the weather's fault, or I've drank too much water today, or I forgot to put off the fire before leaving the house, my kidney produced more water than it is supposed to, which my bladder was about to burst, but probably won't get as bad as a woman on labour. 

I arrived at college at 0830. 30 minutes. wow. I entered the class. The class was having a listening practice. Except for the speakers, absolute silence from everyone. I grabbed a chair. I sat. The chair was broken. But not enough to make me fall of the chair. The seating "cavity" is broken and is slanted. You know the feeling of maintaining your position while going down the slide? Yea, That's how it went for 1 hour. Everything went on pretty well since then....until (again), the lecturer checked on our progress regarding our reports. Ironically, we haven't started doing it...yet. The worse part, powerpoint presentation on the report is on this Wednesday....

Purify my heart and mind today.Lord, I forgive MYSELF for my sins, faults and failings,for all that is bad in myself or that I think is bad, I forgive myself; and I accept Your forgiveness. I furtherforgive MYSELF for taking Your name in vain, not worshipping You by attending church, for hurting my parents, getting drunk, for sins against purity, bad books, bad movies, fornication, adultery, homosexuality. Also, for abortion, stealing, lying, defrauding, hurting peoples’ reputation. You have forgiven me today, and I forgive myself. 

Also, mum explained to me that how important accounting is in our live. Imagine that one day, your parents give you $1mil to further your studies abroad. To keep track on your performance and rising to their expectations, you need to prove to them that you are on par. You show them your "accounts" and "financial reports", meaning your results, class attendance, bank statements....

We are just the accountants of our lives....and also the entity.

Poker~faced

OWWHhhh...shuckzzz....
Maybe I just had a heavy doze of "Calvin and Hobbes", where Calvin was so rebellious about studying, but he made a good point : Knowledge is paralyzing. With just 2 core subjects (Business Finance and Accounting) is enough to make my head slightly heavy. It's like I could feel more neurons are being made and inter-connected. Still, I don't feel smarter, because everyone else is still smarter than me.

English was a casual one. Not those kind that would leave you breathless while the teacher goes on and on like freight train with a break-neck speed. I'll get to that part later. English is still ok to me. It's more to ice-breaking for the first 2 weeks, like intro-you and your partner session, impromptu speaking etc. But, I must admit, that I'm pretty awkward when I'm dealing with a new environment and people. The good news (also the bad news) is, everybody speaks English with an interesting accent.

"Take out a piece of paper and give me the definition of an "organization"..."stakeholders" ..."3 Primary objectives of a business"..."4 Secondary Objectives"..."8 Objectives by Peter Drucker"....etc..." 

That's what happened and somehow got me thoughts going blank when the lecturer for Business & Finance came in for the 2nd lesson. See, how high the expectations are from the lecturer? Totally incompatible with my style of learning.  His lecture is totally an exhausting one, for the brain. At least there's a good thing, when he gives us a toilet break in between for 15 minutes. He is like Justin Hitchcock from Cecelia Ahern's "Thanks for the Memories", just that he has a neat hairstyle and is fairly fit. Something interesting about his add-ons : Victor Vroom's Expectancy , where F = V x E. Somehow, I think, everything involves Science! F is force of motivation, V stands for valence (how valuable is the outcome) while E represents the expectancy (probability of the effort will succeed).

Accounting is fairly OK. Still, it is a damn-whole-new subject to me, which, the teacher emphasizes a lot, I have to work harder and faster in order to match myself with those who has the basics from previous studies, eg SPM, A-levels. I have to get myself familiarized with new terms, eg realization value, historical value, Net Realizable Value etc... I doubt myself will I be able to prepare a Statement of Financial Position and Income Statement  in time. Afterall, I started with zero, compared to the others.

Maybe I should stop comparing myself and the rest, and start looking at the similarities we share. Back to prime prob : Ice breaking.... they are kinda hard to break when we don't have the right skills and tools.
So, refer this : http://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-When-You-Have-Nothing-to-Talk-About

 oooo...look at what my Lumia could do with the pictures taken.

I won't give up by Jason Mraz

Life is just like juggling 5 balls when you're an adult. 2 are made of rubber which are "Wealth" and "Career", but the other 3 is made of glass which are "Health", "Religion" and "Family".

                                                                                                                    ~Kale Lau W.K.

A Door

Supposedly I would gain better confidence in everything I do, especially after what I've gone through in Somehow, I am unique, like not daring to go through an automatic sliding door, afraid that it won't open if I stood in front of it. My stunted movement rolled back into a normal pace, following a guy through the door. Gosh...this thing could be a measure of my confidence or any words related to it, eg self esteem, faith...

A door, is kept shut until you dare to twist the knob open. Well, unless it's automatic, and they have knobs
Let me rephrase : A door, is always kept shut until you make your move.
Lesson : be brave. Be bald...I mean, bold.

The pastor was right, we pass through lots of doors everyday. And we open and go through them for a reason, also, to accomplish something. But, guts? It's total a different matter.

 

Considering it a door, not a wardrobe.

Lost & to-be-Found and Christmas

To anyone who reads (probably just me...)...anyway...

Merry Christmas. May you have bright days ahead of you. I know I've been not so keen in updating this "blog" and it's kinda lame. The fact is, I have no idea what I'm supposed to write. There 5 days left (just ignore the time posted at the end of this post, b'cos it's wrong) to end year 2011 and so far, everything is peaceful, no bloodshed at least. This is the last year I'm in secondary school and everything ahead of this milestone seems complicated. I have no idea what I wanna/I'm gonna be; I can't choose which A-level (or equivalent programs) in which institute. Dad, Mum and I kept arguing and discussing.

If I dream of becoming a lawyer, dad says, I MUST go for STPM (4th toughest exam on earth, based on Arull) in order to avoid the Certificate for Legal Practice (CLP) which all Law (LLB) graduates from private universities (local and foreign) MUST sit. The passing rate for CLP is very low, and hence, Dad freaks out.

If I dream of becoming an accountant, dad says, I MUST go for Sunway College Foundation in Accounting or CAT, then proceed to ACCA. Altogether takes 3 years. I'm a Science student. I have no clue what is Accountancy or what is it about. At least, I think it's a job that deals with money.

In my dad's time, people have limited resources and choices. My dad became an engineer.
In my time, people have excess resources and choices. I'm lost. See how does "I'm fine with everything" phrase kill people?
Indecisiveness, the crucial part for a child, that saves time, and time is life.
Preparedness, the essential segment for parents, that saves time, and time is money.

Basically, I can do anything.

"Wrong, my son," Mum said "When I was your age, I was like you, too. You're not brilliant, but you have a large learning capacity."

The moment when parents say "Nevermind la!", is the time they're uncertain of how things would turn up to be, or they're just being overconfident. Another misconception from a parent: Whatever we studied at your age was tougher than what you learn today." The worst part? Nobody listens, and keep on being wrong.

Life is complicated. If you notice, not all information are tucked into those stacks of brochures that you got. It feels like my future that lies in your hand is nothing but just good business. (sounds like Pirates of the Caribbean 3, eh?).

If you guys notice that I've been posting "inbox me any number and see what I say about you" s, it is really kinda fun to lay back and contemplate the moments we had together. In the meantime, spreading loves and "true words" in a nice way to fill up my emptiness (both soul and time). By the way, I reserved the word "special" just for "you". And there comes the feeling again.

There're a few great movies that I've watched during the holidays:

I spent my afternoon cleaning up my desk during Christmas, and in Times Square with my family. I think, people should have gatherings in their houses, instead of looking for parking spaces, queuing up for food, avoiding from flashing cameras (I'm one of 'em with the cameras, but mum don't allow me to take pictures of people), and squeezing through the crowd. I think, more quality time should be spent among family members and friends. Roast turkey, anyone?

This year's (2011)theme for Christmas (my pick) : White Christmas (I know it's not snowing in Malaysia)
2010: Winter Wonderland
2009: Last Christmas
2008: Come All ye' Faithful

PWTC & The Mall : Nan Yang Edu Fair

Seems like dad and I didn't get enough of the inquiries, so we ended up at the the 14th Nan Yang Education Fair held at Hall 4, PWTC. Since, Sunway Putra Place aka The Mall is just opposite, had a some coffee there, discussing 'bout A-levels and STPM and courses to take. It's almost at the end of the year, yet I haven't got a path on where I am suitable with. 

Dad's plan :

 1) I go for STPM and get all the subjects parallel to law

 2) I got chose to study Law course (LLB) in local university, like Uni Malaya.

 3) I become a certified lawyer, without having to seat for the Certificate for Legal Practice, which passing 

     rate is about 40% only.

 4) I pursue Masters from a more remarkable university.

However, 

Mum disagreed with the plan. Mum claimed that she was a victim of STPM and has lost faith in the Malaysia Education System. First, I have to be really good in my studies. Then, I need lots of luck in order to get chosen for LLB. 

I'm lost....any advice?

The Mall and Tun Mahathir Mohamad (PM no.4)

A completely, randomly arranged swarm of metal nets, which look like bees?

Look again.

In case you're wondering who's the third guy from left, he is Dato' Onn Ja'afar. 

 

Red carpet to welcome the PM for the launching of 1Malaysia TV. (no idea what's that) 

This might help you out: http://www.1malaysiaiptv.com.my/

When you walk in. 

No, it's not an illusion. The mug at the right is indeed larger that the left.  

Then I realized that there are 2 spoiled bulbs.

#$%^&

To those who know but never understand me,

who thinks that I don't like to talk, 

you're wrong.

Just that,

when I started talking,

people never listen, 

people try to cut me off,

people interfere,

people stand in front of me to block me, 

people change the topic, 

people refuse to listen,

people pay no attention, 

people disagree with my statement,

people think that I'm weird, 

people make fun out of me,

people criticize.

Instead, 

I still listen
to what you say
and smile

Parents, friends....

they're all the same...

I'm alone

Leave me alone.

Sicko

well...I'm sick...sore throat...like it's swollen....feverish...can't concentrate.

O' Lord...I need my luck, health and wisdom...back...please? I need 'em for my SPM...

congratzz M'sia for scoring...

What's wrong with me?

I asked my dad to shut up during dinner.

Mum joked that I was moody as I was too harsh while washing the dishes, and I broke a bowl. 

Here's something to cheer you up, although I'm still acting one kind....

or

Frustration

I tried and tried and... Okay...maybe not that much, yet I still got damn many wrongsss!!
20 slashes!!! *chokes* & *hanged to death*

Oh..and I realized something...

People that are confident pose in front of the camera,
People that are timid just stare in front of the mirror. 

How I am supposed to love somebody who is busy loving others?
Maybe that's just a stupid excuse for not daring to try...

*Poof*

Dad insisted me on going STPM, instead of A-levels, hence, furthering studies in local universities.

I'm not saying how tough STPM is or how the local Universities reputation are, but to study abroad is one of my dreams.

Dad added that A-levels and abroad is too expensive and would like to spend his money on other stuffs...cars...properties...investments....

*poof*

I'll earn a scholarship if I get into A-levels. Fair?

OHhhh!! shhhh......nevermind

Its been like a week I didn't I update this thing....
This thing, in fact....is the only way "out" to me....in this case, I mean the
window to toss all those bloody and "fireworky" things building up in my...erm...soul.

thanks!!! mum!!!! for killing my mood to prepare for tomorrow's exam....
don't expect much....it was you who started everything....
you think I don't have problems like you???

You heard a parent (a mum) scolding her grandson, words that are so painful to my ears....
the grandson was crying his eyeballs out from the socket... metaphor*
yet the mum showed no sign of "retreat"/"being soft" on him, and continue charging at him
and my mum *like a warning sign* said to me:

You should be lucky I did not treat you like that.
You don't like me nagging.
Of course you want me to treat you like that, right?
because you never got scolded and beaten before.

I'm sorry, mum... but it really hurts.....a part of me just died.....
here's my suggestion....open a diary.....
don't let your mouth be your only way out....
as your mouth only leads you deeper....
(that's why people memorize things by speaking out!!!!)

You continued:  You think you're very good? you're only 60% good....

Oohhh!!!! Jeeezzz!!! you're judging me now???? In fact , nobody's perfect.....
have you ever wondered if I was the one giving marks on you????

I know you're an educator...and your mouth is way crucial in your life.
Since your mouth is so important,  why not keep it for the important stuffs, and minimize those spams?
Spams are just like nagging....nobody likes 'em....except you're a lame guy....

I can nag the whole way through this page until there's no more space for me too type (if that's possible)!
But, I 've got important things that I should focus on.....

If you ever feel too stressed up? Just pay attention at one thing at one time....
It won't help when you're doing house chores and releasing frustrations 'bout your work.....
Instead, you're just spreading anxiety.....

 

A House in a House.

Hey guys....

Straight to the point: the first"House" refers to Dr. Gregory House from House MD while the other "house" is the normal house that we all live in....

If you're a fan of House, then you should know how suckzz his character is....especially in Season 7: loving Cuddy, back to Vicodine (please don't do drugs), having a fake marriage with Karolina, jumping from his hotel room (if not mistaken), hence freaking the shit out of Wilson, and crashing into Cuddy's house, which stunned Wilson again.....(pity Wilson)

Well, another example of such character...just that he is a non-fiction : My dad! (sorry, dad....)

In this topic....I'm just gonna discuss about the behavior....

Remember when House stayed in Cuddy's house and leaving in the morning, while Cuddy asked him to take the trash out and stop using her toothbrush (pretty disgusting huh), House always managed to slip away from these duties, therefore ignoring other people's feelings....after he succeeded to get what he wants to get....( you know...what that happens between a male and female). Until, House found out that Cuddy is really pissed off. And Cuddy will be having a surgery about a "cancer tumor", (actually it wasn't) after the whole episode's  are "blood in urine" symptoms (including Cuddy). Fortunately, House reacts appropriately to such situation: He bought his own toothbrush, and accompanied Cuddy during and after (he freaked out at the "Before" process) the operation....and in Cuddy's dreams.

On the other hand....

As for dad, well....I was being paid to house chores...and is that supposed to be in a family? I mean, family should do things together, and not supervising and giving instructions to the rest just because you have some little fortune! When it comes to togetherness, yes...I'm talking about from the head to tail process...meaning not disappearing into thin air in the midst of something! Okay..here's an incident, (might be a small issue, big enough for me), at first I didn't wanna have lunch at home....because we (dad and I) have to cook. I don't mind cooking or washing, as long it does not take a long time and ended up exhausted. I just can't tolerate the whole nagging stuff and "demanding for more" issues! Instead of getting pissed, hence making me irritated, why don't we settle things TOGETHER?

We're one big family!

Cuddy finally found out that House is on Vicodin....and broke up with him....
The question is....what will happen to my dad??
(it's just comparing the behavior, not that my dad is on drugss!!)

SORRY!!! FOR THE WEIRD COMPARISON & CONTRAST!! 

(wait, its not contrast....its similarities...I suppose)

Challenges

Dear mum and dad, I would like to challenge you to ...

1) Keep the noise produced from every action you make minimal, esp. walking up the staircase.

2) Remind me only once and once only on tasks I have to do.

3) Mind your tone. For me, its kinda loud.

4) Speak proper English. My English gets worse because your way of speaking. Yet, you are stuffing the blames   

    and critics on me.

5) Be more friendly while communicating. 

and finally....

6) Try finishing your sentence(s), at the same time, deliver the message in not more than 20 words. Mind those elaborations and examples and repetition. 

TQ

Morale

Hey guys,
If you have read my previous post on "Rainbow" , you would have known that our house maid has gone home.
and my house is currently a little messy....(my territory is the messiest!).

Here's the point:
What I can't tolerate is the nagging, shouting, accusing, fighting, commenting, criticizing (very form of negative communication words you can think of)....the very second I step into the car when my dad picks me up, I would get a damn freaking unfriendly welcome....
~eg "where have you been? Why so long?" , "Be more alert ahh!!!!",  "You think I'm your driver ah???" , "Wasting my time only la you! 1 minute I can earn lots of money!" etc....

okay....If I was energetic, then I would have shown some respond or even quarrel...though its not really right to fight with parents....

But, if I was down (moody) that day, those scoldings would have just open a blackhole sucking all my morale which is already low enough!

Please....

Hey guys,
Okay,
So,
Ermmm...
Wait! I got it!
When those people on the TV and internet asked us to listen to our heart and
pursue what we're passionate of...I did...like Facebook and NiE Mag Competition.

So, my parents got quite upset with my involvement, thinking that my first priority should be SPM.
I don't have any good genes from you? You don't see sparks in me?
OK...I admit it. It's just that its not the right time for me to shine.

and...I know
all your blackmailing are for the best of me:
like :
If you caught me on Facebook, you would force me to further my studies in STPM.
(I was hoping for A levels)

&

If you caught me doing my NiE Mag competition stuffs, I would not get the chance to further my further studies abroad.

So, stop with those extortion,  please?